Author's Note: I wrote this piece to tell of my mom opening her special present. I would like you to critique how well I explained the theme and how well the two paragraphs blended together.
After the frantic night of wrapping presents and waiting for the excitment of opening presents of the next day was finally over. My sister and I jumped out of bed and rushed to wake up our parents. Trampling down the stairs we saw dozens of presents sitting neatly under the tree and stockings busting with candy. There was one suprise I nor my dad or sister could wait for my mom to open.
Sydney and I had finished opening our presents it was finally my mom's turn. As my mom was slowly unwrapping the gift a smiled appeared on her face. It was a nookcolor! Something that she had been dreaming to get but never expected it. Mom was like a actual little kid on Christmas!
The first sentence was kind of confusing. I would probably get rid of the word "after". You described the scene nicely, like how the stockings were busting with candy and how you trampled down the stairs.
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